My Role Model

I was asked in my ISB interview who was my role model. I gave it a thought for the first time and said it is my pappaji. Why- they asked.

He has been a person with huge ambitions and has strived extremely hard all life to achieve them. His early work that required him to stay in Africa and travel to India on a consistent basis has a story in itself. He used to stay away from home for months at end, and one day he asked himself- what is the use of all this money if it cannot satisfy my one major priority: being with family. And he at one left everything back in Africa and decided to start afresh in Mumbai: with a wife, four daughters and a son.

I was born as a gift to him, only that, as usual, I arrived late, this time by two days! I was his favorite, he told me, and played with me so much when I was little. He used to cross my arms and legs as ‘kasrat’ and I used to giggle lots. That long route to Rajawadi Garden from Rajkamal would somehow feel a lot shorter in his company.

He always walked with such brisk pace, that it was difficult to catch up. So once, I asked him panting, “How do you walk so fast?”

“We have to finish all these tasks in 1 hour! Why waste time?”

“But why 1 hour?”

And he bent down and told me, “So that we can save time for ice cream, and return home quickly!”

As a kid I did not realize the gravity of his words. It was such a simple definition of Work Hard, Party Harder! And he always has. He worked till he could, in the share bazaar, till he fainted in the office and was escorted back home by a colleague. And yet he always found time for his favorite ice cream and bhajans and with the family and friends.

Family is above all is the second lesson he taught me. Once in a garden with his elderly friends, when it suddenly started raining, he called me up and asked for umbrellas. I was in such sleep that did not figure out that his friends might also need them, and just carried just two. I reached the garden and handed him over one and kept the other to myself. His friends reprimanded me of my naivety, and lack of thinking the situation over. There I stood, amidst all strangers, hearing those harsh words for seemingly innocent ‘mistake’. And then he spoke, “It’s my fault, I mistakenly told him to get one. But he got two, maybe there aren’t more umbrellas! Here, take them. I’ll rest at his place till the rain stops.”

Back at home, I asked him, “But, pappaji, you knew we have at least four umbrellas, for the four of us, if not more….”

“Yes! But for such a small mistake, they were shouting lots. That too at you, who are part of my family. I was not just going to stand there. Remember, family always comes first and you should always stand by them.”

He taught me to live for the family, with the family and die with the family. Even in his last breaths, he wanted the whole family beside him. Five children, and nine grandchildren he has seen, played with and raised, and started life in a 1BHK flat at Rajkamal.

He taught me to be passionate. You should see his eyes light up when he used to work. And also when we had ice cream. It was the quest to prove him my capability that I used to learn pressing his legs and head and improvise by learning acupressure and use of fingers.

He taught me to be letting go, and go easy on others’ mistakes. Shares worth lakhs had been disposed of as ‘raddi’ as a mistake by mummyji. After some searching and hard work, he forgot about it with a smile. “Bygones are bygones, Devu”, he told me, “There is no point pondering over it.” I went to B school and learnt the very concept of ‘Sunk cost’ which he had taught me 10 years ago.

He has lived his life to the fullest, seen generations grow under him, seen both great times and torrid and deserves rest and peace.

I would have liked to press his head and legs one last time, and hearing from him, “You have improved, as always. Getting better. Good job!” I tried to that, but he did not say it. I tried a little harder, a different technique, went a step further. But there was no reaction. I didn't cry, he would have wanted me to not do that in front all. I realized he is gone.

But here, I promise you, pappaji- your principles, your values and whatever you have taught me, will stay with me. Always. And I will keep improving, and try, albeit I know in vain, but still try, to become like my role model. Like you.